The Worst Decision I Ever Made

How a decision I made when I was 13 changed my life

This was the worst decision I made in my life. 

I was 13, trying out for the hockey team to play with the kids a year older than me. 

Being one of the better players in my age group, I had a shot. Usually, only a couple in the younger group would make the team. It’s tough for a 13 year to play with the older kids, but I was still on the team with only a few cuts left. 

I’d never made it this far before. So you’d think I’d be excited. But I wasn’t. 

I was scared, and I didn’t know why.

I always wanted to play with the older kids. But I pulled back with the opportunity becoming more of a reality. 

My Dad said playing with the older kids could be good for me. He also said I could develop more and get more ice time playing with my age group - where I always played. 

At the next tryout, I talked to the Coach and told him what I was thinking. He told me to go home and think about it. “Give me a call tomorrow and let me know what you want to do.”

It was tomorrow.

Time to make a decision. 

I put on my shoes and went for a walk. My steps matched my pulse, and my walk turned into a jog. As I wrestled with this decision, I needed to move, to distract myself. 

Jogging felt hard. My stomach was too busy eating away at the decision to process any food. 

Why wasn’t I excited?

Loss Aversion:

A psychological theory that says a loss is more painful than a gain is pleasant. It feels worse to lose $100 than it feels good to win $100. 

Once you invest part of yourself, you’re trapped. 

• You stay in a shit job instead of pursuing your dream because of losing the paycheck.

• Stay in a bad relationship because of the time you’ve put in.

• The stock you can’t sell because you are pot committed.

• The $20 you put back in the pot to win the $20 you lost.

Many of the decisions we make come from the fear of loss. Sometimes it is warranted. Other times we are making fear-based decisions disguised as rationality. 

That’s what I was doing. 

I decided to quit during tryouts. I don’t know if I would have made the team. 

People assumed it was because I wanted to play with my friends or was scared. 

The real reason was that I didn’t want to risk not being the guy. Up to that point, I played in all the crucial moments in the game. I liked being one of the best players on the team. If I played with the older kids, I’d start as one of the worst. 

I didn’t want to lose being the guy even for a year, despite it being better for me long term. So I sacrificed something I wanted out of fear of losing something I had. 

Here is the funny thing, I ended up having a terrible year. I didn’t perform very well. I always wondered what if. What if I kept trying to make the team?

After the season, I promised myself I would never make a decision like that again. I’d never let the fear of a loss be the determining factor. 

It was one of the most important promises I’ve ever made to myself. 

So if you are wrestling with a decision, like leaving a big paycheck for a passion project or a big move, it might be worth taking the risk. Most decisions are more reversible than you think. 

Above all, make sure you don’t let the fear of a loss leave you wondering what if …