The Quicksand Effect

Overcoming Obstacles with Creative Resilience

The best way to get past any barrier is to come at it from a different direction.

- Anders Ericsson & Robert Pool

Fall nine times, get up ten. 

That’s what we are told to do. That is what we tell ourselves when we have a setback. 

It’s good advice. But it’s incomplete. 

I’ve been in many situations where the harder I tried, the more effort I gave, the worse I did.  

The equation seemed to be more effort = more failure in these scenarios.

In this instance, hard work did not pay off. I couldn’t work my way out of the situation. 

I was stuck, and the more I tried to get unstuck, the more I planted myself in my current predicament. I had to find a different way. 

Quicksand

The Replacements is a 2000s movie that my brother and I used to watch all the time. It features Keanu Reeves, so I loved it. 

One scene in that movie has stuck with me for over 20 years. 

The main character, Keanu Reeves, is a quarterback with a lot of potential but fails at his first attempt to be a star. Years later, after giving up football, he is getting a second chance. To prove he can shine in the big moments. 

In this scene, they share their biggest fear. (Here it is if you are interested.)

The team goes around the room. After some hesitation, Keanu describes his biggest fear as Quicksand. 

It's not actually Quicksand but a metaphor.  

You’re playing and you think everything is going fine 

But then one thing goes wrong and then another and another 

And you try and fight back but the harder the deeper you sink 

Until you can’t move you can’t breathe 

Cause you’re in over your head 

Like Quicksand 

I’ve looked at this scene from many angles over the years. Sometimes I see it from a lense of biting off more than you can chew. Sometimes I see it as imposter syndrome feeling inadequate for the big moment. 

I’ve learned, most times, it’s neither. The key is to tackle the problem from a different angle. 

A New Approach

Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. 

I’ve watched myself and other athletes fall into this trap. I’ve watched myself and other colleagues fall into this trap. I’ve also watched myself and my friends fall into this trap in our personal lives. 

Success requires hard work (unless you are very lucky). But working hard doing the wrong thing isn’t going to help. 

The trap of working hard in the gym and not seeing progress. Only after trying a different approach or even resting (I know, crazy idea) did I come back and make progress. 

Colleagues struggling for hours on the same problem. They only made progress after getting a helpful piece of advice.  

Friends who keep making the same mistakes. 

In all these situations, the harder they work, the deeper they sink. 

Lay on your back

The best advice for getting out of Quicksand is to relax and lay on your back.

So when you feel like one thing is going wrong, then another and another. Take a step back and evaluate the situation. 

After fighting back, if you find yourself sinking more, it might be time to take a different approach before you are in over your head. 

No matter what you are going through, there is usually a way out and a way forward. 

You don’t have to sink.